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my deviantArt story

Journal Entry: Wed Sep 10, 2014, 4:13 AM
Random, YES. (for those who don't know, this is for dA's 14th bday! which im pretty late for, lol)

ahh i definitely have LOADS to say about my dA story, but i'll try to cut things down a bit! I actually had several bookmarks of my fav dA artists for maybe like a year, before i finally decided to take the next step and join dA, under the influence of friends in college at that time. Being surrounded by like-minded artists kind of gave me that courage, i guess. I was very new to digital art then, and was still learning the ropes and testing waters...i got my first ever tablet and was SO UNCOMFORTABLE using it at first (and before design school i had ZERO clue about what a tablet was AHAA) But i adapted surprisingly quick and my intuos3 baby's been with me for like 8-9 years now :heart:

The Emperor by circus-usagi my dolls and I by circus-usagi Allen Walker by circus-usagi Happy Bday Lavi by circus-usagi

these are actually pretty much my 'turning point' deviations, in terms of my style and how i saw myself progressing as an artist. I developed a rather...odd(?) style of painting in photoshop because i didn't explore brushes or pen sensitivity and didn't discover the airbrush until much later ^^; so everything was made using the default Hard Brush, with opacity lowered. I was also so afraid of COLOR, i basically used a worn-out B/W sure-win formula to churn out ok-looking stuff. It was a very careful, unintentionally-watercolor-like style, and was not exactly true to my nature. The Lavi pic was when i eventually found the Airbrush oTL;; and when i first utilized it. Now i am Airbrush's slave.

Dream Within A Dream by circus-usagi Dream to Nightmare by circus-usagi Devil in the details by circus-usagi steampunk bouya by circus-usagi f a w n e by circus-usagi

there was like, a period of time where i would try to make everything as colorful as possible, LOL. It's like every color of the spectrum had to be on it or it wouldn't cut it for me x'D After that i kinda mellowed into using a lot of brownish palettes cuz i found that that was what i was most comfortable using (and am still very inclined to use brownish palettes).

On another note! i can say that im most thankful of the friends that i made here on dA =D The sad thing is that i lost contact with a LOT of them now D: but each and every one has helped me improve and push myself and just acted as a pillar of support when i needed them to be (both during personal and artistic struggles) and for that i am forever thankful (:

Beyond repentance by circus-usagi steampunk arora by circus-usagi boy with his hedgehog by circus-usagi  Midnight Kings by circus-usagi that was then, this is now by circus-usagi

I post a great deal of fanart here on dA (though nowadays, not as much as on my tumblr lol) but the thing most requested and most loved (all my DDs in fact) are my original characters AND IF THATS NOT TOTALLY RAD I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS :heart: I appreciate all the support you guys have given towards these babies that i put my soul and heart and blood to manifest out of nothing onto paper, so that they may breathe life and be free from the wreck that is my mind!!! At least with them drafted out, they can finally stop screaming within my head for me to let them out /cries ok that sounds creepy

Terrarium Series 3 by circus-usagi Terrarium Series I by circus-usagi Terrarium Series 2 by circus-usagi

At this point, I feel like i STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO, when art style and technique is concerned. Essentially, i still haven't 'found' myself as a person, so, to decisively stick to one fixed art style is something I often find poisonous for growth. i like trying new things, im just working on subduing my tendency to procrastinate LOL. And i hope to continue on this artistic journey of self-discovery until one day i can finally hit that first niche, look back once at the long way i came up from, and keep marching on into the wilderness with the courage and curiosity of a freaking ten-year-old..!! =)

And as always, a big thanks for all the +watches, favs and comments!! :love:

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:icondemonflames:
Demonflames Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol I just saw this now. I really love this story and just so ya know...I know how it goes with characters screaming to be let out to breathe xD That's why I feel amazing after I sketch out mine xD I've got a long way to go to but I promise I will push you on your journey cuz I love seeing your babies pop up in my watch feed lolz
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:iconcircus-usagi:
circus-usagi Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014   Digital Artist
;__; :heart: thats a really sweet message, dear /HUGS <3
yea im kinda dreading full-time work again cuz i know i wont be able to draw them as much ^^; i wonder how people even find the time..
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:icondemonflames:
Demonflames Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
We sneak it in by drawing bits and pieces of pictures every once and a while. I have so many unfinished sketches, one being of your baby Kien, that need to be finished but I almost never have the time to do so. *cries* but yeah lol
Glad you thought the message was sweet. I guess I do still have some of those moments xD *hugs back* 
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:iconthewhitescatterbug:
TheWhiteScatterbug Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sure everything in the future holds something nice for you and your art style, keep it up^^
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:iconcircus-usagi:
circus-usagi Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014   Digital Artist
thats really sweet of you :heart: Thank you very much!! :tighthug:
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:iconthewhitescatterbug:
TheWhiteScatterbug Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome^^
Reply
:iconlucidlumi:
LucidLumi Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know how long I've been watching you (a long time now), but I've loved seeing your style progress and evolve! Good luck with the procrastination issues and finding a style you're really comfortable with. :)
Reply
:iconcircus-usagi:
circus-usagi Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014   Digital Artist
/CRIES :happycry:
thank you for the encouraging words, my dear! :heart: i hope i continue to not fail you! hahaha~
Reply
:iconlucidlumi:
LucidLumi Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Unless you turn into an enormous jerk overnight (don't see that happening), you've got nothing to worry about. :heart:
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:iconmazubutt:
mazubutt Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Student Digital Artist
whoaaa i love those terranium series *//////* also babu did you get CF booth this year???
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:iconcircus-usagi:
circus-usagi Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014   Digital Artist
OHHZ i didnt register for CF ahahahaaa /cries w-when is CF tho? omg some of my friends didn't even manage to get in DD:
Reply
:iconmazubutt:
mazubutt Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Student Digital Artist
ohh i see i see--- !! cf is after xmas which is like 27-28 December * O * /
AFSGHAS yeah some didnt get in;; we managed to secure a slot tho o(---<
Reply
:iconcircus-usagi:
circus-usagi Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014   Digital Artist
sdfghjlk; nnnaaaahhh actually i kinda wanna go to buy stuff LOLL maybe not booth there cuz of uhh currency difference ^^; but since KL is so near i might just IMPROMPTU DROP BY hahahaa (which is VERY likely!) I GOTS RM TO SPEND ON PRETTY ARTS :heart:
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